


Got Nothing to Prove (but I'ma show you how I do)

by GuardianMars



Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, BAMF Tenten (Naruto), Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, Hatake Kakashi is a Bad Teacher, Just another Wave mission wake-up call, Pre-Chuunin Exams, tw: gaslighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-02-10 20:29:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18667810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuardianMars/pseuds/GuardianMars
Summary: Civilians and orphans are always used as cannon fodder. Sakura’s not sure where she first came by this phrase. Whether she heard it or read it, she can’t quite remember, but it stuck in her head and it stays in the back of her mind whenever Team 7 takes a mission.When Sakura and Tenten get placed on a temporary team looking into a series of kidnappings of local village girls, Sakura is naturally worried. She doesn't want to be cannon fodder. When the mission goes to pot, Sakura and Tenten find themselves far away from home and with only each other to rely on. As it turns out being cannon fodder is the least of their worries.





	1. food for the cannons

_Civilians and orphans are always used as cannon fodder._

 

Sakura’s not sure where she first came by this phrase. Whether she heard it or read it, she can’t quite remember, but it stuck in her head and it stays in the back of her mind whenever Team 7 takes a mission.

 

Civvies and orphans are pushed to the front lines so precious clan children don’t get killed needlessly. Although, technically spares and those in the lower ranks also face the same fate, it’s still not the same. When Sakura gets over the luminous joy of being on the same team as Sasuke-kun, she keeps thinking on this.

 

She and Naruto must be meant to protect the last Uchiha in some way, and for a while Sakura finds a sort of romance behind it. She doesn’t mind defending Sasuke-kun to the bitter end. Spends afternoons imaging how she and Naruto will go to battle looking out for the last Uchiha and how Sasuke-kun will be blown away by Sakura’s bravery. It’s a lot like the dramas Sakura’s mother loves to watch, all lens flares and beautiful angles (and not a drop of blood in sight).

 

This daydream gets shot to hell when Kakashi-sensei accepts that fateful C-rank mission to Wave. Where Sakura sees firsthand that dying isn’t in any way romantic or noble or brave. Instead, Sakura stands by, _useless_ , and watches her team fight. With the only thing entering Sakura’s mind being _I don’t want to die_ in a ceaseless loop.

 

It’s a wake-up call. That Sakura needs to get her shit together. Get stronger, better, faster.

 

It’s a wake-up call and brutal one. Because now Kakashi-sensei has categorized Team 7 into two categories: the useful one(s) and the useless one(s).

 

Sasuke-kun and Naruto fall into the former category, and Sakura falls into the latter. It’s why Sensei doesn’t really spend much time on her (not that he really did much in the first place, but at least before he ignored them all equally). Sakura has tried asking and pestering him for help but Kakashi-sensei manages to deflect her every single time as he focuses on the boys with conditioning exercises and special training sessions. Sending her off to work on her chakra stores, or do some more tree climbing to perfect her already near perfect control.

 

And the thing that stings is that both tasks aren’t even the most useful or efficient way to do either. She knows. She’s spent enough time in the library that she practically lives there, could probably just start working there and no one would say anything, just nod and hand her a paycheck. So, Sakura does what she can by herself but it isn’t much. There’s a reason why genin have jounin-sensei after all. Everything worth learning and trying and doing has the potential to kill an inexperienced shinobi (or at the very least permanently maim) and Sakura’s too chickenshit to put theory into action. So she reads and takes notes and compiles information and when she’s feeling brave, talks to the chuunin on desk duty about chakra meditation.

 

Sakura wonders if this is all she has to look forward to now. D-ranks and being ignored. Before she can really settle on feeling one way or another, it happens. She gets her first solo mission.

 

“Huh?” Sakura smartly says as Kakashi-sensei explains that she’s being pulled for a mission.

 

“Mmm.” Kakashi-sensei says. “You’re to take part in a special mission. Isn’t that exciting?”

 

Two things pop into Sakura’s head at once. One, this isn’t exciting. Not one bit. Two, please please please, don’t let it be one of _those_ missions. Sakura’s kunoichi classes made it clear what would be eventually expected of her, but she didn’t think it would be so soon. Kakashi-sensei is talking again - not a solo mission, and Sakura’s fear diminishes only to be replaced by dread. And as he continues to talk, one sentence keeps blaring out at her.

 

_Civilians and orphans are always used as cannon fodder._

 

Sakura knew this (she knew this!), she was determined not to fall into that trap. She wanted to improve herself, get stronger. But the mission request came through, and now her hands are tied. She has no choice but to accept. Technically, as a genin she didn’t have the authority to accept (or deny) a mission order. That was up to her sensei. And since Kakashi-sensei didn’t seem to think anything was amiss, Sakura was now being delegated to a temporary team.

 

The mission, Kakashi-sensei told her, was to look into a string of kidnappings of local village girls her age in small villages and towns dotting Fire Country’s border. Being close to Iwa, it had taken a while to get approved, but with the disappearances creeping up to the double digits, two towns had banded together and contracted Konoha and Iwa to look into it. Iwa had denied the contract citing lack of jurisdiction as most of the places technically fell under Fire Country’s territory on the map.

 

It was a rather pitiful excuse in Sakura’s opinion, but it still held.

 

The goal was to find the missing girls and return them to their respective families and see the kidnappers (most likely a local gang) brought to justice. Since Konoha was taking the contract, they would be brought back for punishment.

 

Being a girl of appropriate age, Sakura would act as potential bait. At least, she wasn’t the only one on temporary assignment, she reflected. Another girl would be along for the mission. Their team lead, a chuunin, would round out their small team.

 

Kakashi-sensei sums up, gives her a crinkly-eyed smile and slips into a lecture about behaving for the new team. The girl, Tenten, is from Gai’s team, Kakashi-sensei is saying and Sakura nods along all the while alternating between screaming internally and making a catalogue of her strengths and weaknesses that she will bring to this new team. One list heavily outweighs the other, and now it’s all she can do not to cry.

 

Kakashi-sensei dismisses her, giving her time to pack as the mission is tomorrow. How long has he known, she wonders as her feet take over letting her mind wander. He seemed rather unconcerned so maybe this kind of mission is run-of-the-mill and therefore easy for someone in her category? Or is this perhaps some kind of test? But a test of what? To see how she works with another team? Does that mean if she fails at this, she’ll be sent back to the Academy? Or worse, Sakura thinks, kicked out entirely?

 

Sakura is already through the library doors when she finished her internal panic. She bites her lip and stares at the rows and rows of books and scrolls. Well, she thinks, might as well do what she does best. With that, Sakura heads over to the Geography section. Maybe there’s a map of the area she’ll be going to that she can look at.

 

\---

 

The day of, and Sakura arrives at the gates by herself. The other girl, Tenten, is already there - surrounded by what must be her team. One is a Hyuuga, and the other two are sporting loud green spandex suits. The girl looks both amused and maybe a little embarrassed by the send off, and Sakura can’t help but feel a little jealousy.  It would be too much to expect her team to see her off, she supposes, but it still stings that she’s by herself.

 

“Oh, this must be Sakura-san!” The team’s sensei declares.

 

Sakura blinks. _Is that…_ She shakes herself and bows slightly and smiles. “Yes, I’m Haruno Sakura. Pleased to meet you.”

 

“I am Maito Gai! Sensei of Neji” He points to the Hyuuga boy, “Lee!” The boy in green spandex with the bushiest brows she’s ever seen, “And your temporary teammate, Tenten”! A flourish of an arm (and yep, that is indeed glitter), pointed at the girl with the cute buns.

 

Tenten smiles at her. “It’s nice to meet you, Sakura.”

 

Gai-san flutters over Tenten some more, wishes both girls good and youthful luck!! on their journey and presents the both of them (!) a bento box each. Tenten’s team soon leaves for their own mission (“Boring border patrol.” Gai-san theatrically whispers) and leaves the two girls to wait for their team leader.

 

“Sorry about that.” Tenten says. “Gai-sensei can be a bit much.”

 

“Oh, it’s really no problem.” Sakura demurs. “And it was nice to give us bentos.”

 

“Is your team coming by or?” Before Tenten can finish, their team leader shows up. He looks barely older than the both of them, Sakura thinks. Just a little taller than Sasuke-kun, shorter than the Hyuuga. Dark brown hair, dark brown eyes. He looks like someone easily passed over. Sakura thinks it’s probably to his benefit being able to blend in, and feels another pang of slight jealousy as she pushes her long PINK hair over her shoulder.

 

He eyes them both. “Yeah, I guess you’ll do.” He says, then turns and then heads out, waving a lazy hand to the guards. He doesn’t even bother to check if they are following him. Just expects it.

 

“You coming or what?” He calls out to them.

 

No introduction, no “my name is…”, nothing. Sakura bites the inside of her cheek. Arrogant ass!

 

Tenten scoffs, and Sakura feels a bit better about her anger.

 

“Well, shall we Sakura?”

 

Sakura turns to the older girl and nods.

 

And with that, both girls head out. Sakura does her best to not think about her death mantra. She fails. As the loop continues, it now has sparkle and pizzazz.

 

_**~*~Civilians and Orphans are Always used as CANNON FODDER!!~*~**_


	2. where is Sakura?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to mention, the title of this came from Lizzo's 'Like a Girl' which is uh-MAZING. I highly recommend a listen or five. 
> 
> Also! Thanks so much for the lovely response. I am absolutely blown away, and have been thinking so much on this fic. So with that, here we go~

It’s been ten days since Sakura left Konoha and Kakashi is ready to rip out his hair. Naruto and Sasuke have been asking him questions almost non-stop. 

 

_ Why isn’t Sakura back yet? _

 

_ Why did Sakura get to go? _

 

_ Why do we have to do this training? _

 

_ Why can’t we go on a better mission? _

 

_ Why, why, why. _

 

It’s enough to drive Kakashi mad. Ever since the boys have found out about Sakura’s side mission, it’s all he can do to get them to focus on training. Both boys are put out (naturally) at Sakura receiving, in their eyes, special treatment. But for two very different reasons. Naruto is jealous that Sakura is off having a grand adventure. No doubt she’s going to rescue a princess! Or a daimyo’s daughter! And she’s going to learn some super cool, super secret jutsu and blow them all away while they toil away at painting stupid, stinking fences and  _ it’s no fair-ttebayo! _

 

Sasuke is incredulous that  _ Sakura  _ has been pulled for separate mission. Why  _ her _ ? What’s so special about Sakura? Kakashi simply leaves it at  _ because  _ and is rather content to let the Uchiha (pout) stew.

 

It isn’t until he snidely suggests that there’s only one thing Sakura could do for Hokage and country that the boys couldn’t that results in a training day from hell. Naruto would probably have beaten Sasuke himself (or tried to) if Kakashi hadn’t done it for him. Kakashi won’t tolerate such comments about a teammate and punishes both boys for Sasuke’s insolence. The next few days, both boys barely drag themselves home but Kakashi’s punishment is clear. No shit talking teammates - at least in matters of a more … delicate nature. 

 

But where the ugly comments die, the questions continue to persist. Finally, he places a ban on Sakura-related questions thinking he’ll have a moment’s peace. But he has severely underestimated the boys and their ability to annoy the ever living shit out of him. 

 

_ Why do we have to paint this fence?  _

 

_ Why can’t we work on a better, more powerful, more interesting jutsu?  _

 

_ Why do we have to repaint this fence (what do you mean it’s not supposed to look like that?)? _

 

_ Why does Kakashi-sensei’s jaw clench every time we ask a question? _

 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. Had they always been this annoying? Or had Sakura being there acted as a buffer? The past few days have been eye-opening to say the least. And Kakashi is starting to see why 3-man teams are important. He hadn’t realized just how much Sakura kept the boys focused. She  _ had  _ been pestering him with questions before she left. Something about chakra something or other. He had been reticent to devote time to her because he wasn’t sure how long her interest would stay. 

 

The thing with Sakura was, she ran through obsessions pretty quickly. Take Sasuke for example. After their little excursion to Wave, she had dropped the Uchiha boy like he was something icky. Kakashi, personally, had been immensely pleased by the decrease of school girl crush antics. Perhaps when she got back (and provided she was still interested), he would reward her by teaching her a genjutsu - only her. That would show the boys.

 

Speaking of, one had been droning on at him for the past minute and a half. 

 

Kakashi blinked. “Say what now?” 

 

Sasuke’s lip curls. “I said, ‘why do we have to continue tree climbing?’ It’s not like we’re getting any better.” He gestures to the exploded bark around him, clearly fed up with today’s exercise.

 

Kakashi’s hands slide in his pockets. “If Sakura can-” But Sasuke cuts him off. 

 

“What is that even supposed to mean anyway?” Sasuke huffs, frustrated. “This isn’t like target practice, where it’ll work out eventually. You keep saying ‘if Sakura can do it, you can too’ but clearly we can’t!”

 

Naruto is looking back and forth between the both of them, Kakashi sees his heading bobbing up and down, for once in agreement with Sasuke. 

 

It’s a bloody miracle, thinks Kakashi.

 

“Yeah, dattebayo! We don’t have freaky control the way Sakura-chan does!”

 

“I mean, what’s the point of all this?” Sasuke continues. “I already have enough chakra to cast jutsu.”

 

Kakashi sighs. With Sakura, all he had to do was give directions once,  _ maybe  _ twice, and she never usually questioned why he had assigned a particular task. She usually figured out how theory related to practical skills and then he was free to stick his nose back into Icha Icha, letting any arguments or the shrill commands of his kunoichi student fade to the background. 

 

Placing his hands on his hips, he says, “It’s not about having a certain amount of chakra stores, Sasuke. You also have to learn how to delegate the proper amount when casting a jutsu. If you use too little, the chakra won’t adhere which is why Naruto keeps sliding down the tree. Use too much, like yourself, and you could hurt yourself.” Kakashi gestures to the frayed tree Sasuke had been working on.

 

Sasuke looks ready to burst. “Then why not just say that in the first place?” He asks through gritted teeth.

 

“Honestly?” Kakashi asks. “I was kind of expecting you both to have figured it out by now.”  _ Like Sakura did  _ goes unsaid.

 

Sasuke is .0002 seconds away from blowing a casket and even Naruto backs away ever so slightly when “Kakashi!” Is shouted at the edge of the training grounds. 

 

Kakashi looks over and see green spandex. “Gai?”

 

\---

 

The boys are doing conditioning exercises as Kakashi talks to Gai who is currently asking him if he’s heard anything from Tenten and Sakura’s mission. When he gave the negative, Gai merely frowned. 

 

“I had expected them to be back by now.” Gai says quietly. 

 

Kakashi had too, honestly. This was a standard run-of-the-mill mission - the likely scenario being the kidnapped girls were never seen again, or worse found in a ditch somewhere. Sure, their girls would probably need to see a counselor once they got back, but there was no better way of getting a taste for the work of shinobi than missions that potentially had unfortunate outcomes. 

 

“It’s not that I doubt young Ryou’s ability, he more than earned his promotion to chuunin.” Gai says, referencing the team leader. “However, I would have preferred if the girls were paired with a jounin.”

 

It’s very clear from Gai’s tone that he didn’t want  _ his  _ female student to take this mission. Kakashi sighed. If he had had any say in the matter, Sakura would never have gone either. But among the age-appropriate girls, Sakura and Tenten were the only viable options. Certainly the Hyuuga girl would never see a mission of this nature. And while the Yamanaka girl would potentially have been useful, breaking the Ino-Shika-Cho combination in any capacity wasn’t likely to happen until they were much older. 

 

Sakura being a civilian (read: clanless) put in her the best position to be shoehorned into this mission. And it was something Kakashi had been thinking on for a while now. He had thought this wouldn’t happen until she made chuunin ( _ if she made chuunin _ ), as she was meant to bring balance to a team with the sole Uchiha heir and the Jinchuuriki - but apparently his bad luck was spreading to his little genin team and the worst affected was currently his sole female student. 

 

So, he understands what Gai isn’t saying. Tenten and Sakura don’t have a clan to look out for their best interests; that falls to their sensei. And Gai feels like he’s failed his student by accepting this mission, not that either man truly had a choice in the matter. One didn’t simply deny the Hokage without damn good reason (and even then, refusing a mission had potential long-term consequences). 

 

Unfortunately, calling attention to either girls’ lineage, or lack thereof, would only serve to highlight it.

 

“It  _ is  _ the beginning of rainy season and they’re heading close to the border.” Kakashi finally says. “It wouldn’t be the first time a mission was prolonged due to bad weather.” He turns to observe the boys who aren’t running so much as trotting back and forth. 

 

He pinches the bridge of his nose. If this is meant to be at all a subtle way of eavesdropping, he’s just going to turn his hitai-ate in right now. 

 

“That’s not-” He cuts himself off. 

 

He’s at the end of his rope here. He turns to Gai, and gestures to the boys. “What would you suggest as a means for motivation?” He asks. 

 

Gai blinks and looks at the boys who have stopped running and are now in pre-argument mode judging by the severe stink eye being thrown around. Kakashi takes a moment to marvel at Sakura’s skill at keeping the boys focused. It really is true what they say, he thinks. You don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone.

 

“Honestly, Kakashi.” Gai chides him. “I’m surprised you haven’t introduced them to  _ tag _ , yet.”

 

“Ohh.” A slow smile curves along Kakashi’s face that would be invisible to anyone who didn’t know the silver-haired man well enough to know where to look.

 

“Gai,” Kakashi claps him on the shoulder. “You truly are a genius.” Gai merely chuckles. 

 

He calls the boys over, and tells them they’re adding a new form of training to their regimen. Both boys perk up until Kakashi says the word, ‘tag’ and then promptly deflate. Before either boy can open their mouth to complain, Kakashi is summoning his pack. Anything either boy might have said or done dies in their mouth as they run, run,  _ run teme! run faster!! _ for their lives. Eight sets of overly eager fangs quickly gaining ground. 

 

\---

 

It is now almost three weeks later and still no word. Gai is more than ansty and even Kakashi knows this is unusual. With Wave coming to the forefront of his memory, he agrees with Gai and requests an audience with the Sandaime over what to do. The Sandaime agrees that the time delay is unusual but still seems reticent to send another team out so soon. It still falls within mission parameters, after all. The mission could have been delayed due to weather or unforeseen circumstances. He looks directly at Kakashi as he mentions this.

 

“All the more reason to send another team out,” Gai reasons. 

 

“After all,” Kakashi adds on, “The chuunin exams are in four weeks, and only 3-man teams can enter.” Kakashi says this rather pointedly. 

 

Without Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto cannot enter the exams which is the entire reason Kakashi had been strong armed into passing Team 7 in the first place. It is because of this that Sandaime greenlights a 3-man team of Kakashi, Gai, and Genma to search for them. 

 

Genma’s recent promotion to jounin six months ago had meant he was slowly cycling through the duties expected as a tokubetsu working under the Hokage. Retrieval missions fell under that perview which was why Genma would be tagging along. Three body retrieval scrolls would be coming along with them.

 

Kakashi sincerely hopes none of them will be used, but also knows better than to get his hopes up. He tells Gai to bring something of Tenten’s and goes to Sakura’s house to do the same. It’s as the men split off to take care of things before heading out that he realizes something vital: he has no idea where Sakura lives. 

 

\---

 

Kakashi is standing outside Sakura’s residence. He’s never been this far into the civilian district and it’s more than a little odd. He rings the doorbell again and steps back. Hands in his pockets, slouch ever present, he takes in his surroundings while appearing completely at ease. 

 

He hadn’t realized Sakura’s family was so well off. The two-story bungalow style house is cozy and clean - it’s deceptively modest. The manicured front lawn speaks to the affluence of the Haruno family, however. The landscaping showcases flowers he has only seen in Iron Country, not even the Yamanaka Flower shop has access to such blooms. This family is not old money, but it isn’t  _ nouveau riche _ either. He rings the doorbell again and this time holds it down. 

 

45 seconds later and no one has come running to the door with exasperation. Her parents are merchants, he thinks. Could they be gone on a trip? Well, that makes things easier for him if they aren’t present. No awkwardly explaining that their daughter may be dead in a ditch somewhere and could they please spare an item of clothing for his dogs to use for tracking purposes?

 

He sighs and looks around. The neighborhood is quiet. But nosy neighbors are universal, so Kakashi casts a genjutsu of him sitting down on the porch steps while he breaks the lock and slips inside. 

 

The house is quiet and well maintained. The lights are out and it looks like they have indeed packed up for a long trip. A note on the fridge confirms this. Kakashi raises an eyebrow. 

 

_ Iron Country Trip _ the note reads. With a list of towns, and dates. It looks like Sakura’s parents have been gone for a little over 2 months now. Huh. 

 

He stands there for a moment longer, thinking. Then bites his thumb and calls Pakkun. 

 

Pakkun appears, paw raised in greeting. “Yo.” Then looks around. “We in a civvie house?” He asks. 

 

“Go find Sakura’s room.” Is all Kakashi says, still thinking. 

 

Pakkun snuffles the stale air, and then trots over and up a staircase. Kakashi trails after. Her parents have been gone for 2 months, he thinks. So then why..?

 

A week before Sakura left (three weeks total now, Kakashi thinks), Sakura had asked to leave training early. Kakashi had asked why, not that he actually minded as Sakura normally wasn’t the type to beg off training. She had said something about her parents and a family dinner. Right? He thinks back to that day - it was a conditioning day with the boys running suicides, then doing a series of upper body exercises, ended by a light run around the village.

 

Sakura had been working on tree climbing, and then walked over and put in her request. He had been sure it was some family dinner/event type of thing. Sakura was speaking quietly, so the boys wouldn’t overhear. And at the time, Kakashi hadn’t cared. 

 

But if her parents were already gone, then why the story? And what had she been doing?

 

Pakkun is already in Sakura’s bedroom, perched on her bed and sniffing at a pillow. Kakashi surveys the room. It’s pink and cute and tidy, with the exception of one place: her desk. Sakura’s desk is chaos intensified with scrolls, books and papers scattered everywhere. Books are stacked up on her chair, and a scroll is unfurled and  _ thisclose  _ to falling off the desk. He peers down at it.

 

_ Difference of men’s jutsu depends upon the different applications of their faculties - that is, should man alternate his chakra output to a precision similar to that of a pin prick, he may find that his output, or rather the jutsu cast, weakened and thus ineffective. One may think, therefore, that optimal output would be in his best interest. However, this may produce equally abhorrent and possibly dangerous results with the jutsu overwhelming both enemy and caster alike.  _

 

Kakashi blinks and rolls the scroll up to the title.  _ Other Considerations Concerning Innate Chakra, both Speculative and Practical. _ Where the hell did she get her hands on something this complex? He looks to the books sitting on her chair: several of these look to be checked out from the library. He raises a brow.  _ Chakra Meditations, Daily Chakra Exercises, Chakra and Body Manipulation. _

 

He looks at the spine of the book and checks the call number.  _ CHU-Z 733 .L8742 O75 _ . That’s a chuunin stacks call number. A place that genin have restricted access to. Technically, a genin could gain access with their jounin-sensei’s written permission but… And then it hits him. Did she…

 

_ Did she forge his signature?? _

 

Kakashi rifles through the scraps of paper. Notes upon notes upon notes. There are shakily drawn sketches, writings, questions, doodles, and there! Kakashi holds up the scrap of paper to eye level, not quite believing what he’s seeing. A henohenomoheji hastily scrawled and if it weren’t for that fact that it was drawn on pink paper with a kawaii meganekko on the paper, he would have sworn he had written it himself. 

 

Kakashi is feeling something in his chest. It’s both wonderment and … Outrage? No. Shock? Not quite. Bemusement? Possibly. 

 

“That little chit.” Kakashi finally says in something close to awe. 

 

He shakes himself and turns to Pakkun. “You have her scent down?” He asks. 

 

Pakkun nods his head to her side table, “Yeah, but take that as well for the boys.”

 

Kakashi picks up a red ribbon, rolls it up, and stick it in one of his many pockets.

 

It looks like there’s more to his little kunoichi student than he realized. 

 

\---

 

Kakashi is late arriving to the gates per usual. Genma and Gai are waiting with varying levels of patience. This he expects. What he does not expect is four genin boys to also be at the gates with packs. Gai’s students, and Naruto and Sasuke. Gai’s boys are currently in an argument with the taijutsu master. Genma is standing off to the side, trademark senbon in place and glances over to him with an amused look that says,  _ good luck _ .

 

“Err, what are you two doing here?” He asks. 

 

He hadn’t told them he would be leaving on a mission. He had planned to have Asuma drop by the training grounds himself and let them know but here they were.  _ How did they..?  _

 

Naruto points at him in a rather accusatory manner. “You didn’t tell us you were going to go look for Sakura-chan!” He hefts his pack on his shoulder. “We’re her teammates! We’re coming too!”

 

Kakashi looks to Gai, who shoots back a flustered look. Kakashi sighs in exasperation, but before he can say anything Sasuke beats him to the punch.

 

“You’re always going on and on about teamwork and looking out for each other.” The Uchiha says.

 

Kakashi stares at both of them, more than a little surprised. “And what brought this about face?” He directs this to Sasuke, specifically, considering he had been the most vocal about Sakura’s mission. 

 

Sasuke fidgets before Naruto roughly pushes him. He pushes back before saying, “She  _ is  _ our teammate.”

 

Kakashi waits but it appears that the Uchiha has reached his speaking quota for the day because he merely glares back at Kakashi.

 

“Right. Well, as riveting as that explanation was,” Kakashi says, “None of you are going.” He makes sure his voice carries on to Gai’s students as well. All four boys seem united and are about to vocalize their protest when he continues.

 

“You’re only going to slow us down and waste more time, which is something we can’t spare. Every minute we stay here arguing with you is a wasted minute that could have gone toward locating and bringing Tenten and Sakura home.”

 

The boys look sufficiently chastised/guilty. Genma raises an eyebrow at him, and Gai sighs. “We understand you have good intentions, but please leave this matter to us. As your sensei, it is our responsibility to guide and look out for you.” He states gently.

 

Genma looks on, slightly amused. None of them mention that this mission may be a retrieval. With the team gone so long, they may be coming back with bodies. Not exactly something genins should see just yet, Genma thinks. The possibility of seeing one’s teammate dead, but also in a state of decomp is never good for morale. Let alone one’s mental health after all.

 

Lee wobbles a bit before swiping at his eyes. “Gai-sensei is right!” He shouts and gives a thumbs up. “We must not get in the way of their finding Tenten and Sakura-san!”

 

Gai grins and returns the thumbs up.

 

“Yosh! Good luck to the three of you, not that you will need it!” Lee shouts.

 

And with that, Kakashi, Gai, and Genma head out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So, kinda teamwork? But not really. 
> 
> 2\. Ah, sexism. I just wanted to note the different avenues at play here. From Sasuke's rather caustic response - which stems from his own arrogance and potentially Kakashi's casual sexism (the tree climbing exercise) - to some more casual ways. Again, Kakashi but also the Sandaime. It's going to be a theme throughout since it's also been pretty rife within cannon itself. 
> 
> 3\. Also! We're adding Genma to the mix cause I love him. Lol. Also, we need a third party who isn't going to be emotionally invested and so (hopefully) have a more objective viewpoint to future events. :3
> 
> 4\. Finally, that call number is a real (albeit modified) number. It's to 'The Library Book' by Susan Orlean


	3. the calm before the storm

It takes them the better part of three days to reach the township. It had been storming heavily and by the time they arrive, there’s a break in the clouds and everything is wet and muddy. They arrive at nightfall and Ryou directs them to the first inn he sees. He already had a rather gruff disposition, but the weather has made him absolutely foul. He had sniped at the girls constantly from running too slow to not being able to light a fire in the drizzle. Every bad thing was like a personal affront to the older boy.

 

Sakura is just grateful that there are two rooms available. The less time spent with Ryou at the moment, the better. Sakura is getting her things settled, while Tenten goes off in search of towels. Sakura wrinkles her nose, almost all her clothes are varying levels of sopping wet - she’ll have to hang them out to dry.

 

Tenten comes back with towels and a tray of food.

 

“It’s not much since we arrived so late.” The older girl says, “Luckily the innkeeper’s wife took pity on us and fixed us up something warm.”

 

The girls eat and as Tenten is pulling her own things out, Sakura begins to fidget. Sakura doesn’t have many female friends (or friends at all), so she feels a bit awkward about going through her night routine. Skincare is an oddly taboo subject among kunoichi. Spend too much time on skin and beauty and you’re seen as vapid, shallow. But a kunoichi’s first weapon is her face. The few women with scarred faces are looked at with underlying judgement or worse, pity.

 

It’s all rather unfair, Sakura thinks, to be judged for maintaining something expected of her.

 

Sakura remembers her first kunoichi class at the Academy, when the girls’ sensei gave them each a small jar of cold cream. She was at first fascinated, and Sakura being Sakura went into a deep dive on skincare products and methods. Learning about different skin types and how they can change over time, the burgeoning debate over only using ‘natural’ products versus acids, _wearing sunscreen._

 

For the first time in her chosen career, being a civilian gives her an advantage over the others. As Sakura’s parents were merchants, she was privy to a lot of niche products. Things like serums and toners and essences. Sakura was pumped.

 

Once Sakura came down from her research high, however, she was a little disheartened to learn that skincare was not only seen as pointless but there was also a lot of misinformation about how to go about cleaning one’s face. Sakura remembers reaming Ino for using a walnut scrub on her face and went into a lecture about micro tears and skin elasticity much to the blonde’s amusement.

 

It isn’t until Tenten pulls out that classic jar that Sakura feels relieved and can’t help but grin.

 

“What?” Tenten asks, brow raised. It’s both a question and a challenge, and Sakura wants Tenten to teach her her ways.

 

Sakura pulls out her small make-up bag and both girls share a smile.

 

The rest of the night is filled with lighthearted banter and Sakura thinks she’s on the fast track to making a new friend.

 

\--

 

The next day, Ryou tells them to stay put while he surveys the town. Neither girl is happy about just sitting and doing nothing, and when Tenten says as much (“What are we supposed to do, twiddle our thumbs?”) Sakura sees Ryou bristle slightly.

 

“How would it look if the girls I’m supposed to be selling are walking along side by side with me? You need to stay under the radar.”

 

“We could just cast a simple henge.” Tenten retorts. “More eyes to scan the village and report back.”

 

“Too many irons in the fire.” Ryou says tersely. “We could just end up covering the same areas and then we might get noticed in a way we don’t want.”

 

Tenten crosses her arms now. “Better than just one doing all the work, while the other two have nothing to do.”

 

Sakura looks back and forth at her teammates. Both Ryou and Tenten are at what Sakura calls the root level of an argument. Not quite blossoming into a full on shouting match, but it’s close. She decides to step in before it can escalate further.

 

“Okay, surely there’s more to the plan than just figuring out who’s taking the girls right? Tenten and I can look into possible routes the kidnappers are taking and-”

 

“We don’t even know if this town has any girls taken yet.” Ryou cuts her off, not taking his eyes off Tenten. “That’s why I want to take a look around town. If there’s nothing of interest, then we’ll head on to the next one. Akahashi is the town that put the contract out anyway.”

 

“Okay,” Sakura says slowly, trying to keep the string of expletives she wants to throw at Ryou at bay. “Well, we still need to plan things out. Is it just me that’s going to be bait or both of us? Will we be expected to maintain a henge the entire time or should we go for a fully physical disguise? And what will we do about our packs? I don’t think we can just keep them in a room like this indefinitely. Plus what are we going to do about the other girls that we find?”

 

Sakura paused once she realized both of her teammates’ full attention was on her and she blushed. “Sorry, I’m not trying to overstep or anything.”

 

Tenten immediately jumped in. “You’re not at all, Sakura. Those are really good points!”

 

Ryou sighed. “Fine, why don’t you two come up with the basics while I do some reconnaissance? I’ll bring back lunch, good?” Before either girl could either agree or disagree, Ryou was already halfway out the room. “And keep your heads down.” He called out, firmly shutting the door behind him.

 

\--

 

Tenten manages to get her hands on a map of the town and surrounding area. Akahashi is a day’s journey by foot (for civilians), and Iwa’s border is an additional four days. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that the girls could be taken across the border. If they have been, it does make things difficult for them since technically only the two towns have contracted their help. That makes their jurisdictional power limited, but Sakura remembers reading something on old by-laws about towns that fell under Hokage rule could be commandeered into taking certain actions that they otherwise wouldn’t have.

 

Her father had told her about it. It usually only went into effect during active wartime but that it was also something civilians tended to get hostile about. Sakura was sure it wouldn’t come to that. This was a case of missing girls, and the parents would surely want their children back safe. Still, it was something to keep in mind, Sakura thought.

 

“So, how do you do it?”

 

Sakura blinks at the question. “What?”

 

Tenten gestures to the door, and Sakura knows that the older girl is referencing Ryou. “You managed to diffuse a fight between us like it was nothing.” Tenten says. “Sorry about that, by the way. I just hate when people just disregard things because they think they know what’s right, you know? But still, it was really unprofessional and unfair of me to make you uncomfortable as my teammate.”  

 

Sakura smiles. The end of that apology feels a little scripted and she wonders briefly how often Tenten has said something similar.

 

“It’s really nothing.” Sakura demurs.

 

“See, there you go again!” Tenten exclaims. “You brought up some really good points earlier and then you go all, ‘oh it was nothing~’” Tenten makes some hand wavy gestures before continuing, “Don’t sell yourself short.”

 

Sakura blushes now. “But it’s really,” She stops, starts again. “It’s just that I’m used to fighting, I guess? Sasuke-kun and Naruto fight all the time, it’s really annoying. Sometimes, it’s just best to ignore them but other times I have to break it up because Kakashi-sensei won’t and then we spend all day finishing out a D-rank that could have taken like, 30 minutes. It’s _so annoying!_ ” Sakura finishes with a huff.

 

“Why doesn’t your sensei stop it?” Tenten asks, curious.

 

Sakura shrugs. “I think he thinks it’s funny? Or he’s stopped paying attention by then and is reading his grody book.”

 

Tenten giggles. “I feel you about annoying teammates, mine are just as bad. Maybe not with arguing but for sure just as annoying.”

 

Sakura perks up. “Really?”

 

Tenten nods, pulling out her weapons pouch to do an inventory. Sakura pulls her own out.

 

“So Lee is totally Gai-sensei’s favorite. Like, it’s a fact of life and we just accept it, which is annoying but fine for the most part because there is no way that I am donning spandex and waxing poetic on youthfulness and whatnot,” Tenten says, “But Lee ends up doing this stuff that’s borderline suicidal and he ends up getting stupid-injured and then _I_ have to take him to the hospital because Neji refuses and Gai-sensei is a mess because he feels guilty but is also proud AND THEN,” Tenten raises her voice here.

 

“AND THEN, _I_ get chided (ever so gently cause it’s Gai-sensei) because I didn’t go along with the same boneheaded thing that got Lee put in the hospital because I haVE COMMON SENSE.”

 

Tenten has a whet stone out and is grinding a kunai down to a fine point. Sakura doesn’t say anything just nods and listens.

 

“I mean, Neji does too. But does he get slammed for not partaking in insane training? NO! So, Gai-sensei has actually modified some of his crazy-stupid taijutsu training because he thinks that I’m “too delicate a flower to maintain the ~Power of Youth~” Tenten struck a partial pose.

 

Sakura wrinkled her nose. “He actually said that?”

 

Tenten waves a hand. “Oh, he always talks all flowery like that.”

 

“No, I mean. He told you he’s not gonna train you because you’re too delicate or whatever?”

 

Tenten lays out her kunai in rows and moves on to check her senbon. Sakura, who has no senbon in her kit (stupid!), fiddles with her own rows of kunai.

 

Tenten shrugs. “It’s annoying, but since I want to be a weapons mistress, I don’t technically need to work on becoming a taijutsu master since I’m into more long range techniques. But as a team, overall we are mainly a taijutsu team. Which makes sense since we’re slated to border patrol and retrieval missions. So far, it’s not affected me.

 

“Also, once I beat both Neji and Lee in a bout and proved I can more than handle my own. It wasn’t easy but it was sooo worth it just to see the looks on their faces.” Tenten grinned.

 

Tenten pulls a tanto and several large knives out next. Sakura looks on in awe, then pouts. All she has left are some shuriken and exploding tags. She makes a mental note to go weapons shopping when they get back.

 

Tenten looks over Sakura’s weapons and blanches then tries to say, ever so casual. “Uh, would you like me to sharpen your weapons for you?”

 

Sakura looks at her stockpile and hesitates.

 

“It’s really no problem.” Tenten says. “I usually end up doing everyone’s anyway, so it’s practically soothing.”

 

Sakura smiles and says shyly, “If you don’t mind.”

 

Tenten waves her off. She gathers Sakura’s weapons and begins working on them. The majority are Academy issued, and in terrible shape (well terrible by her standards, but still).

 

Tenten glances at the younger girl, she’s currently looking at a bunch of maps - one Tenten got from the innkeeper and a few of her own. She bites her lip, has no one taught her basic weapon maintenance? Tenten wants to ask but doesn’t want to hurt her feelings either. So instead, she makes a mental note to take Sakura to the weapons supply she frequents when they get back to Konoha.

 

Sakura is currently comparing the maps she had made a copy of from her last library trip to the one Tenten procured. The town distances are off by several miles for some of the smaller towns. Which makes sense, Sakura supposes, Konoha must have been approximating - or perhaps they were taking shinobi methods of travel into account over civilian ways? The geographical features seem to be in the same relative position, just off by a day’s travel. Good to know, Sakura thinks.

 

“So,” Sakura starts.

 

Tenten, still working on Sakura’s weapons looks up in askance.

 

“When you were told the mission specs, were you told you were going to be potential bait?”

 

Tenten pauses and thinks back to what Gai-sensei told her. Locate missing village girls; bring the kidnappers to justice, preferably alive. “Mmm, not really? But it makes sense, I suppose.”

 

Sakura nods, not quite sure how to feel. “I was.” Sakura says and Tenten looks at her but Sakura is now in thinking mode.

 

“Which makes sense, I guess, not a lot of people in this area with pink hair.”

 

Tenten snorts. “Or Konoha for that matter.”

 

“My family is from Iron Country.” Sakura says, answering the unasked question.

 

Tenten nods. “I have no idea where mine were from. By the time we got to Konoha, they had gotten sick and when the Kyuubi attacked,” she trails off here. “Well,” She pauses, doesn’t know what else to say, doesn’t want to talk further.

 

Sakura sensing the awkwardness filling the room, moves on.

 

“We can go about the baiting two ways. One: just me and you provide backup to Ryou, or two: we both go as bait, which I think Ryou intended? He mentioned we both should keep a low profile, so maybe he wants to better the chances? So the next question is: should we change up your appearance or keep your look as is?”

 

Tenten looks over at Sakura and frowns. “We’re not gonna cut my hair are we? I mean, we can but I would prefer not to.”

 

“I was just thinking dye. This village is big enough that it has to have a general supply store and apothecary.”

 

Tenten nods. “Okay, what else?”

 

Sakura stares at her.

 

Tenten gestures with a kunai in her hand. “You mentioned a bunch of stuff earlier.”

 

Sakura blinks. “Right. So, first: disguises. We’ll wait ‘til Ryou gets back to see if that’s what he wants. We’ll all have to get local clothing regardless, because there’s no way I can maintain a henge that long and our clothing clearly shouts ‘outsiders.’

 

“Then, we’ll have to figure out where to store our packs. Probably just a storage scroll? And then Ryou can carry all of it. Also, if we’ve actually found the kidnappers, we have to figure out their positioning and motives for this whole thing. Is it just a local gang, are they part of a larger ring, and if so what’s their level at? Umm,” Sakura paused, then got up and walked over to her pack.

 

Tenten snuck three of her own kunai into Sakura’s pile. Hers were weighted, and balanced to Tenten’s preference; she could tell the difference between her own weapons and others’ with her eyes closed. Academy issued kunai were okay for training purposes but they tended to be mass produced (meaning cheaply made) and light for small hands. With heavier kunai, they would not only last longer but do more damage to an opponent.

 

Sakura came back with a notebook and began flipping through it. “I didn’t really have a lot of time since Sensei only told me about this whole thing yesterday. So, I just did a massive information grab and then collated things that would be most useful to a group. Just basic stuff like common weather patterns, best places to stop and rest or gather supplies, etc. Then I figured we could talk to the innkeeper and maybe get some more info on the town and see what local gossip they know. Innkeepers usually always have an idea of what’s happening about town for like, festivals and stuff but also places to avoid.”

 

Tenten just stared at her.

 

“What?” She asked a bit defensively.

 

“Sorry, I just.” Tenten shook her head. “You prepared all this in a day?”

 

“Oh. Well, I mean. Yeah? I really like to research things.” Sakura shrunk in on herself. “I mean, I’m good at it so,”

 

Tenten shook her head. “No, that’s great.Clearly, we need someone on this team who can do some forward thinking.”

 

Sakura blushed. “I don’t have a lot of physical skills just yet, or really any skills just yet.” She frowned, looking down at her hands.

Tenten looks at her for a moment and then says, “Hey, that’s what a team is for.”

 

Sakura looks up at her, and she smiles. “We’re meant to balance each other out, cover each other’s weaknesses and highlight each other’s strengths. Also: if you’re good at one thing, apply it to other things. That’s what Gai-sensei always says.”

 

Sakura absorbs this and a slow smile blooms on her face. Tenten returns it, pleased.

 

Sakura opened her mouth to say something else, but a knock on the door interrupted her. The door opened and Ryou peeked in. “Come on,” he nodded, “I got us some food, we can talk in my room.”

 

The girls look at each other and grin. Game on.


	4. if I could get to sleep, I would have slept by now

\---

Ryou is in a much better mood, Sakura sees plainly as they settle in his room.

 

“Good news?” She asks.

 

He waves his hand side to side. “Potentially.” He says.

 

No girls have gone missing from this town but the villagers have been talking. Men have been coming in and out of town with regularity for the past couple of weeks now. While this isn’t usually anything out of the ordinary, this town is big enough on the map to act as a sort of rest stop for weary travelers, the men passing through are the same.

 

They’re working contractors, simple handymen working a job a few towns over who go home when one job is finished only to pass through for the next. This would be fine and dandy, the local butcher complains to Ryou, but they have that look about them.

 

“That up-to-no-good look about ‘em,” The butcher said, arms crossed. “I don’t like it. What with the little missies gone missin’ next town down Mayor’s thinkin’ of settin’ a curfew here for all the good it’ll do.”

 

Tenten frowns. “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“Apparently,” Ryou says, “The girls go missing at random times. Some in the early evening when they’re supposed to be back home for dinner, others in the morning. There appears to be no pattern, so mainly moments of opportunity. It’s hard to tell what is just hearsay and what’s truth. The villagers I’ve spoken to have heard that upwards of 20 girls have gone missing.”

 

Sakura sucks in a breath. So many? The potential dozen had already been a high number!

 

“If that’s really the case,” Sakura says, “Do you think we should send a message back home?”

 

Ryou and Tenten are looking at her as she continues. “This is clearly much more serious if it’s 20 girls or more. A more complex operation is in play. And only in the surrounding villages? How has the news not spread by now?”

 

Ryou shakes his head. “I said that’s what the villagers heard. It could just be that - hearsay; you know villagers like this blow things out of proportion. I heard some people say they think a spirit is taking the girls into the forest. You have to take what they say with a grain of salt, Sakura.”

 

Sakura frowns. “I know that.” She insists. “But if the reports are true, surely the news would spread along civilian channels? Afterall, it’s civilian girls being taken. Have you spoken to the mayor, yet? Perhaps we could-”

 

“Sakura, the only complex thing going on here is that the villagers haven’t taken care of this themselves. It’s why they contracted this out to Konoha. And we really have no accurate number for the missing girls other than hearsay. I understand you’re bothered by civvies going missing, but we need to keep level headed about it.”

 

Sakura frowns, “But-”

 

But Ryou shoots down anything Sakura is about to say by bringing up the fact that no girls have been taken from this village. “Anything the mayor has to say will be the same thing the other locals have said. We’d just be wasting our time.”

 

He turns to Tenten, “So what have you come up with while I was gone?”

 

Sakura bites the inside of her cheek as Tenten tells Ryou about what they had discussed previously. Technical aspects, as well as whether or not to use both girls as bait or just one.

 

Ryou nods thoughtfully before saying, “Better our chances, I like it. Good thinking.”

 

And like that, it’s decided. Tenten and Sakura will go out to look for a general store (or apothecary) in the early evening around dinner time to lessen their chances of being seen. Sakura and Tenten will cast simple henges and procure what they need while Ryou stays at the inn doing final prep work. They will leave to head to Akahashi the following day - midday at the latest.

 

Despite her irritation, Sakura feels better with the beginnings of a plan in place. It’s not as detailed as she would prefer, but it’s no different from what Kakashi-sensei usually divvies out to Team 7. Still, Sakura thinks, Kakashi-sensei always at least seemed to be sure of how the plan was supposed to progress even if he chose not to divulge information out. This plan between the three of them seems a little too cavalier for her tastes, and it makes her uncomfortable. Tenten seems fine with it though, so Sakura puts it off as her own anal retentiveness coming to play.

 

\---

 

Evening falls and the girls are in the apothecary. Sakura is speaking with the woman who runs it while Tenten is browsing. To be honest, Tenten is happy to let Sakura take the lead here. The younger girl seems at ease with girly stuff like this, as well as talking to adults, smoothing over disagreements; the list could go on, really.

 

Tenten is glad Sakura is on this mission with her. If she’s being honest, she’s feeling a little anxious about everything. She worries they won’t find the girls, or that they’ll find them too late. She worries that she and Sakura and Ryou won’t be able to work together and ruin everything. Worse, she worries that she’s going to be the one to fuck this up somehow and then the cycle of anxiousness begins anew. She’s not sure how much is just nerves relating to the mission and how much is the team chemistry. She wishes, not for the first time, that Team Gai could have been given this mission; or even Team 7. It certainly would have done better with a group of people already used to functioning as a unit - even if it meant being one girl short.

 

Tenten sighs as she wanders the store thinking on the conversation she had with Ryou before they left (or rather, the conversation Ryou had with her). Henges fully in place, Ryou placed a purse of money in Tenten’s hand and reminded them, again, to be careful.

 

“And don’t get noticed.” Sakura had tartly finished. “We know.”

 

Ryou pressed his lips together and when Sakura left the room, he grabbed her arm. Tenten paused and looked to him in askance.

 

Ryou had hesitated before saying, “Look out for Sakura, okay? I’m a little worried she’s starting to let this get to her.”

 

He must have felt her tense at his words because he hurriedly followed up with, “I’m not trying to criticize her but she’s just graduated from the Academy. Sakura’s team has only been together for two months and surely you’ve heard about what happened to Team 7’s last mission, right?”

 

Village missions were always confidential, even simple border patrol and escorts. But it was less of a rule and more of a guideline. Plus, shinobi talked. How could they not? When missions went awry in any capacity, it was noted. Missions incorrectly ranked were complained about, but to have a C-rank end up an A-rank and involving a genin team? Tenten was pretty sure all genin teams were aware of it, even though she didn’t know the full details.

 

Gai-sensei had simply said these things happened from time to time, muttered something about his rival’s poor luck, and quickly moved onto other topics. She remembered sharing a look with Neji at the time but had since moved on. Ryou, it seemed, had not.

 

“From what I’ve heard, it was a bad mission. This is Sakura’s first mission since, all I’m saying is keep an eye out and let me know if you notice anything.”

 

“Like what?” She had asked.

 

“Just, anything out of the ordinary, yeah?”

 

Tenten looked at Ryou, saw the concern in his eyes, and nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

Tenten sighs again. The sooner this mission is done with, she thinks, the better.

 

\---

 

Tenten is in the dressing room trying on a pile of clothing which left Sakura free to pace the aisles. She feels … antsy. Like she’s not moving fast enough or like, perhaps there’s something she’s forgotten. She desperately wants someone to talk to but she feels she’s being silly over everything. She doesn’t want to bring such trivial things to Tenten, doesn’t want the older girl to potentially think less of her. So she wanders the aisles in the hopes that if she keeps walking, the antsy-anxious feeling will leave her system.

 

A flash of red is in her peripheral vision and she looks over and sucks in a breath. To her right, an array of ribbons spans the wall. From cool blues and violets to vibrant greens and yellows to the jewel toned reds before her. Sakura pauses and takes the ribbon in her hand. Rubbing the soft silk between thumb and forefinger, her heart aches and she can’t help but think back to home.

 

She misses Konoha.

 

Is that silly? It must be silly, it’s less than a week out. But...

 

But she didn’t feel this weird creeping wave of homesickness when she was with Team 7 on her last mission outside of Konoha. Even in all the hellish events that had transpired, she hadn’t once thought of Konoha, or her parents, until they were heading for home. Maybe, she thinks, it’s because she’s not with her proper team. She can’t help but smile at the thought of missing her boys, even in their most annoying moments. Sasuke-kun and Naruto arguing, Kakashi-sensei reading his stupid book.

 

That must be it, she tells herself. This feeling within her is just homesickness. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

“Hey, are you ready?” Tenten comes up to her.

 

“Hmm? Oh yeah!” Sakura says, bringing her basket of supplies to the cashier.

 

\---

 

Dinner is a short affair. Ryou got them all bentos and they eat silently. The inn is quiet and despite the warmth from the heater, the cold from the storm still seeps in.

 

Ryou is pointedly looking at Tenten and Tenten is pointedly not looking back.

 

She doesn’t know what the older boy wants but Tenten hadn’t seen anything off about Sakura. The younger girl was just trying her best and Tenten can’t fault her for that when she’s trying to do the same.

 

Ryou sets down his chopsticks, meal finished and before he can say anything Tenten stands up. Only in her haste to look casual, she looks anything but. Both her teammates look up at her, confused. Fuck.

 

“Umm, Sakura and I need to finish getting ready.” Tenten says, trying for an air of casualness.

 

“So, we’re gonna go do that. Right now.” And before Sakura can say anything, she grabs the young girl by the arm and practically hauls her up and drags her out of the room.

 

Yup. Not awkward at all.

 

\---

 

Sakura is about a third through slathering Tenten’s hair with dye when Ryou lets himself into their room.

 

“Did you get everything you need?” He asks.

 

Tenten gives an affirmative and Ryou watches them for a moment. Both girls seem to have clicked early on and there is an easy rapport between the two. It’s good and bad. Good because team missions always rely on teamwork. Bad because they are already taking each other’s side when they don’t like what he has to say.

 

Perhaps irritating is a better word for it, he idly thinks. Aloud he says,

 

“Good. Everything is set up on my end, so I figure we can head out early in the morning. The Innkeeper said it’s supposed to start storming again by mid-afternoon so I think it best to leave before then.”

 

Both girls nod, not even aware they’re doing so simultaneously. Ryou bites the inside of his cheek.

 

“Sakura, ah…” He trails off and sees the younger girl look over at him in askance.

 

“Can I talk to you for a moment?”

 

“Alone.” he adds pointedly.

 

Sakura looks to Tenten who was currently fiddling with a kunai, then back to him. “Um, sure?”

 

\---

 

Out in the hallway, Ryou leaned against the door jamb. “So, I just wanted to touch base with you.”

 

Sakura looked confused. “Okay?”

 

“It’s just, I noticed you seemed to be a little stressed and then last night, well.” He trailed off as if that was all the explanation he needed.

 

“Uhhm,” Sakura started, irritation spiking within her. “Well, it’s a stressful mission but I’m doing fine.”

 

“Sakura,” Ryou said in a placating manner, head tilted down to look at her. “You have a particular sensitivity to this mission and I understand that - can even sympathize. But I need to know that your overactive imagination isn’t going to affect the mission.”

 

Sakura jerked back. Overactive imagination??

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked sharply. She said it a little louder than she intended and Ryou gave her a look as if to prove his point; she crossed her arms over her chest, shoulders hunching. The urge to apologize was bubbling up within her but she stubbornly kept her lips shut tight.

 

Ryou leaned closer to her and murmured, “Hey, I’m not the enemy here. It’s just that Tenten mentioned you seemed rather agitated and I would be remiss as team leader if I didn’t follow up on that.”

 

Sakura felt her stomach drop. “Tenten said that?”

 

“Yeah, and you know how easy going she is. So if Tenten noticed, I thought it best to check in on you.” He said. As the look on her face dropped, he rushed to continue.

 

“Hey, hey, don’t feel bad. Everyone has a mission where it affects them worse than others. It’s just that you have to learn how to bottle it up - at least during an active mission. Afterwards, you can deal with it.”

 

He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it in a comforting gesture, dark eyes peering down at her.

 

“You’re a smart girl, Sakura. It’s why you were chosen for this. Your sensei had faith that you would be able to see this mission through successfully and -”

 

“Kakashi-sensei picked me for this?” Sakura interrupted.

 

Ryou nodded. “Yup, and Hatake-san is an A-ranked jounin, so I know I can trust his recommendations. So have faith in yourself and we’ll get through with this mission, okay?”

 

Sakura looked up at the older boy and nodded.

 

“Okay.”

 

Ryou smiled. “Good. I’m turning in for the night but if you need anything just come to me, okay?.”

 

Sakura smiled back. “I will.”

 

It was as he was walking back to his room that Sakura called out to him. He looked at her over his shoulder.

 

“Thanks for checking on me.”

 

Ryou looked at her for a moment then smiled warmly at her.

 

“Of course.”

 

\---

 

Sakura stepped back into her room. Shutting the door, she leaned against it and sighed.

 

“Everything okay?”

 

Sakura nearly jumped, heart skipping a beat. She opened her eyes to find Tenten looking at her curiously.

 

Sakura stared at the older girl for a moment. Hair half up covered in dye, wearing an old t-shirt and felt a small wave of irritation. Why hadn’t Tenten talked to her?

 

Part of her wanted to call the older girl out. If she was so worried about Sakura then why not just talk to her? Why go to their team leader?

 

“Sakura?” Tenten prompted and Sakura shook her head. Part of her wanted to call Tenten out, but another part of her didn’t want to; felt it wasn’t her place to. She was the lowest ranking one on the team after all. But she had Tenten’s full attention now and there would be no getting out of it.

 

“Ryou talked to me.” Sakura said slowly. “He was worried I’m letting myself get affected by the mission.”

 

Sakura watched as Tenten’s shoulders relaxed and the older girl said, “Ah, I was wondering if he was going to talk to you or not.”

 

Sakura frowned and Tenten gave her a crooked smile.

 

“I totally get it. It’s not fun when team leaders gotta act all team leader-y. Trust me, Gai-sensei has given me the ‘act-like-a-professional’ talk on more than one occasion.”

 

“It’s just,” Sakura began, not quite sure how to frame how she was feeling at the moment. Irritated to be sure, but also a little hurt. But Tenten seemed unbothered by it, so she was starting to wonder if she really was just being too sensitive.

 

“It’s just,” She tried again. “It’s so annoying. Like, I’m not stupid. I know the danger of allowing oneself to become emotionally invested but I can’t help that it affects me in a different way.” She said this rather pointedly and Tenten looked at her.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Sakura walked over to where Tenten was sitting and added more dye into the bowl. Color stirred, she began adding more color to the girl’s hair.

 

“The kids being kidnapped are girls our own age. From civilian families.” Sakura said. “How can I not think about them and compare myself? What if I had chosen my family’s occupation instead? I would be out in some small village like this buying or selling wares and then what? Would I have been taken? Probably not because we’re relatively well off, meaning I would be missed. But if this is simply a crime of opportunity like Ryou’s saying, then I dunno. Maybe I could have been kidnapped as well. What would I have been doing? Going to the market? Heading back home to my parents?”

 

Tenten didn’t say anything. As an orphan, she couldn’t exactly relate to Sakura’s upbringing. From what little the younger girl had shared, it seemed like Sakura lived a comfortable life. Tenten couldn’t quite imagine giving that up. Living a life of comfort with her parents? Sign her up.

 

“It’s easy enough to get overwhelmed as a shinobi, but civilians aren’t trained at all unless they’re in a gang or following the samurai way of life.” Sakura continued. “And I know that I’m the most inexperienced here, but I can still add value to the team.”

 

“Of course you can,” Tenten soothed. “No one is saying otherwise.”

 

Sakura snorted.

 

“Hey,” Tenten turned around to face Sakura. “You have just as much to contribute to the team as either Ryou or myself, kay? We’re all just a little on edge. We’re a new team and we just have to adapt to each other’s quirks and whatnot.”

 

Sakura looked at her with pursed lips then nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

 

“No worries. If I’m being honest, I’ve been getting a little anxious myself.”

 

Tenten can hear the relief in Sakura’s voice when she says, “Really?”

 

Tenten nodded, adjusted the towel around her shoulders, and said, “Totally. Usually, I can just sit back and let Gai-sensei tell us what to do. He’ll ask for our input and occasionally we get to take point. But he still acts as our safety net. I kinda wished that it had just been my team, or a different one that got this mission.”

 

There is a pause before Tenten realizes how that sounds and quickly adds, “No offense or anything.”

 

“No, no! I totally get it.” Sakura says. “I feel the same. I thought it was just me feeling extra anxious about everything.”

 

Tenten feels a light squeeze and her shoulder. “Thanks, Tenten.”

 

“Hey, no problem.”

 

\---

 

It’s late when the girls turn in for the night. Sakura knows she needs to rest but finds herself unable to sleep.

 

There is an uneasiness settling in the pit of her stomach. And no matter how hard she tries, she can’t make it go away. Conversations from the evening float around in her head over and over and over again.

 

She’s not sure she trusts herself to remain impartial to the mission.

 

And she’s not sure if she can trust either of her teammates.

 

She turns over and stares at a sleeping Tenten.

 

Her eyes prick and there is a knot forming in her throat.

 

She misses Konoha.

 

\---

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Alie Ward voice* Heyyyy, it's your stressed out neighbor, Mars. 
> 
> First of all, I want to say a big, fat thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review this. It really means so much to me that you're digging this little story of mine. 
> 
> Secondly, I'm going through some major life changes atm. PhD program, moving across states, and lots and lots of stress and anxiety that go with that all. Saying all this to say: I plan to see this story to completion. It's just gonna take longer than I initially expected. Also, writing multi-chapter fics is hard I don't know how y'all do it but you have my utmost respect. 
> 
> Thirdly (?), start checking those tags cause the fic's gonna start getting darker and I'll start adding tw tags. I'm still debating on whether to add them in per chapter (there are a few notable ones I will for sure). Let me know your thoughts on the matter.


End file.
